Coming over all maternal with students - in a derogatory, clucky hen sense - is not a good idea.
I've always been a sucker for a sob story. I can end up going right out of my way to help someone with something just because they asked when, actually, they'd have been better off doing it themselves. I've often heard colleagues pooh-poohing these situations, with a bunch of bluster and a macho attitude (even the women). So sensitive have I been about this personality trait that I've tried, in the past, to be covert about my endeavours to support students.
And now, back at work, I can't deny that I'm sporting a new type of self-consciousness. This is basically a vanity project about not getting cast as a wimpy push-over. (Which, it seems, is a stereotype about new mums returning to work that I've cast in my own imagination. Yikes. How did that get into my head?)
But anyway, it's easier to be tougher these days because motherhood is NOT for wimps. Yes, along with other new mums, I may dissolve at the sight of any scene of desperation or suffering and, just occasionally, fabric conditioner adverts. But the point is that I'm tougher now than I've ever been.
I haven't changed my mind about how far it's reasonable to go for a student who asks - and also students who don't ask but clearly need a bit of extra support. I recognise more quickly when I'm being a bit soft with them. But being maternal with them -- it's not a clucky hen thing, it just means giving them what they're entitled to: some attention, thoughtful guidance, and compassion.
I've always been a sucker for a sob story. I can end up going right out of my way to help someone with something just because they asked when, actually, they'd have been better off doing it themselves. I've often heard colleagues pooh-poohing these situations, with a bunch of bluster and a macho attitude (even the women). So sensitive have I been about this personality trait that I've tried, in the past, to be covert about my endeavours to support students.
And now, back at work, I can't deny that I'm sporting a new type of self-consciousness. This is basically a vanity project about not getting cast as a wimpy push-over. (Which, it seems, is a stereotype about new mums returning to work that I've cast in my own imagination. Yikes. How did that get into my head?)
But anyway, it's easier to be tougher these days because motherhood is NOT for wimps. Yes, along with other new mums, I may dissolve at the sight of any scene of desperation or suffering and, just occasionally, fabric conditioner adverts. But the point is that I'm tougher now than I've ever been.
I haven't changed my mind about how far it's reasonable to go for a student who asks - and also students who don't ask but clearly need a bit of extra support. I recognise more quickly when I'm being a bit soft with them. But being maternal with them -- it's not a clucky hen thing, it just means giving them what they're entitled to: some attention, thoughtful guidance, and compassion.
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